It's Lonely at the Top

My early efforts at leadership

I started my work career as a secretary and ended it working in a leadership roll directly under the C.E.O. of a company that employed thousands of people.  I start with this bit of history, not as a "look at me brag", but to give creds to my experience making decisions at a high level.  Even at my own experience level, it was nothing compared with leading an entire city, state or country.  Some things do apply:

It isn't faith that eliminates fear, its faith that helps us travel through fear and be all we can be.

Being all we can be may not be the same as being all others expect us to be.  Being all we can be, personally, is the only criteria we will be judged when our days are done.

During a crisis is not the time to undermine your leaders.  They are already set in place and they need to concentrate on the solutions. It is counterproductive to make their job more difficult.

If you are under the leader, respectfully voicing your opinions and differing or supporting ideas is your duty.  Once the leader makes a decision, it is also your duty to support it even if it's not what you wanted.  Being able and willing to do this will be an indication of your maturity and your ability to see the big picture.

I guarantee you will never know all the factors that have gone into a decision a leader makes.  

Because you will never know those behind the scene factors, publicly second guessing your leader, during times of crisis, only makes you look weak and clueless.



A good many employees/citizens fail to notice their actions may be similar to those of little children:  

• Is your anger similar to a tantrum?  
• Is your logic based only on your own wants?  
• Are your deductive powers limited?  
• Do you bicker and undermine as negotiating tool?
• Are you happy only when you win?
• Do you fail to consider something bigger than you?    

When a leader must deal with childish behavior, they loose time working on real problems that need mature answers.

Is there a time to be angry?  Yes, in private.  To publicly display anger at your leaders, in front of people who need assurance, often undermines confidence and leads to instability.

When I see someone undermining leadership during a crisis, I immediately know their aim is to personally enhance their own self and know they are not acting in the interest of everyone.

There are bad leaders.   There are also good leaders who make bad mistakes.  You have a choice:  Quit or try to help them do better. One is easy - one is not.  

There will be a time, after a crisis, to write your opinion or your own history book.  Wait until then to analyze what went wrong, what you did and how it should have been done. 

  This also applies to those who must quit because they feel strongly they can no longer work for a leader.  If you quit and then publicly air your grievances during a crisis, it only looks like sour grapes; your comments will not carry weight.  Save it for your book.

What if you feel a leader will destroy a business, a community or a country?  In a democracy, you can leave and start a campaign to offer differing opinions.  What you need to know is if you aren't careful you can destroy the very things you're fighting for.  If the way you proceed is viewed as subversive or harming the greater good, your ideas will be dismissed by the majority.

When you attack a leader's personal habits (speech, dress, physical characteristics, family, etc) your position becomes weak.  It tells those listening you have nothing relevant to substantiate your dislike.

When a leader asks you to stop what you're doing or saying, it means they've heard you and they now need to make decisions based on many things, not just your needs.  The military calls it "standing down"; relaxing out of your readiness position and let others take the lead.  Taking offense or taking it personal at being asked to stand down shows a lack of understanding for the bigger cause.

Leaders can no longer discuss everything in detail with their employees, friends, family or with the public.  It undermines and causes unrest.  I'm not advocating subterfuge, eliminating teamwork or feudalism.  I'm saying a leader is put in that roll to make decisions.  At some point, after considering all input, that leader must make that decision alone.  Then that leader must move forward with the next decision process.

Leaders and those who work for them need to develop a sense of humor.  It can defuse tense situations and can help with tolerance.  Humor at work can not be sarcastic.  Sarcastic humor makes enemies and builds division.  

Know when to just shut up.  It's a quality that's lost its importance since the dawn of social media.  It's a quality needed today in both leadership and in those under the leaders.

Leaders have a personal life that is as important to them as your's.  They have family, friends, hobbies, a home, heartache, happiness and personal beliefs.  It's disrespectful to treat them as if they "belong" to you.  

The very old saying "it's lonely at the top" is still true today.  You should care that it's still true.  As I moved towards more leadership rolls, my close associates became fewer.  It's a natural process but it is a lonely process.  Having the personal support of people gives a leader strength.  It doesn't necessarily mean you agree but it means you care.  And that care may not even mean care for the leader but you care for the overall good.

Pondering Alone - With Nobody Else

The old George Thorogood song with a few word changes:

"I ponder alone, yeah,

With nobody else

I ponder alone, yeah,

With nobody else

You know when I ponder alone,

I prefer to be by myself"

So many songs can be adopted to the Coronavirus situation - most funny and many irreverent.  And it sent me to pondering:

Are all the doctors who are making YouTube videos in an office setting and wearing their surgical caps having a bad hair day?

At what point is a politician so out of touch with his/her constituents that they really believe we want to hear political one-up-man-ship instead of just facts I need to know.  Holding me hostage thru your political commentary just so I know facts to keep me alive does not make me a devoted servant.  

Do you find it a bit comforting to know that TV and movie personalities have homes that are as messy and oddly decorated as yours?

My long held belief that some people are stupid has not waned.  

I was a rebel and wild child in my youth.  In spite of that, I knew if something could kill me or my loved ones, I didn't do it.  

One of my thank you prayers has always been "Thank you for letting me be born in the Midwest of the USA."  It continues.

You have to have been through tragedy to really understand and appreciate goodness. 

It would be so cool to be a stress non-eater!

I feel sorry for people living in places where they can't or won't pull together for the common good.

If this virus is the beginning of the Biblical Rapture simply because it's so horrible, then remember the 6 million Jews and 11 million other victims of Nazi persecution.  Could it be the beginning, possibly.  But not simply based on there's horrible death and suffering.

Are the people who are making fun, having jokes and cartoons not serious about the virus?  No, they're coping - just like you and I - in their own way.

Is the doctor who is wearing his white medical coat and making a PBS studio video asking for my donations to the station really not have a decent shirt or sport coat?

At the grocery, standing in the check out line, everyone unconsciously kept shuffling to keep their distance from others.  It was like watching those little magnets we had as kids where it would push the other one away whichever way it moved.  

Churches that aren't using social media sources are missing a mission opportunity.

It's hard for the "stars" who need/crave constant publicity to compete right now.

Congrats to sports writers who are actually having to research and write stories instead of simply listing the stats and salivating over the latest hero.  I seldom read the sports pages but they've had some interesting articles of late.    

Have you considered what it means that most newspapers are carrying stories written about situations/things other than area events?  It means they have laid off local newspaper journalists and photographers and are buying that stuff.  It's cheap fill and you're paying more to get less.

Pretty sobering that in a few months, Italy went from being famous for its huge contributions to the worlds of art, architecture, fashion, opera, literature, design, and film to a nation that is now having to consider anyone over 80 years old expendable.

For the equally clueless and relentless reporter questioning the very top military leaders about why all military bases haven't been totally locked down and all personnel locked in:  They explained balance of health cautions vs. defense needs at least ten times and she still pushed.  Considering the combat training in this group, she might consider herself lucky they remained polite.

The arm chair sports fans' critiques have nothing on the arm chair national and state handling of the crisis critiques.

If you haven't given a big tip or simply just given cash to restaurant carry out people, then you're missing an opportunity.  Don't miss opportunities.

I know the elderly are at risk for this virus.  I've also seen they are the ones who are laughing, keeping busy and making the best of it.  I've not heard one elderly person say they're bored.  Save these people, they may be the last tough generation. 

Being isolated and being slovenly are too close for comfort.

Raise your hand working mothers and dads if you think your stay at home alone kids are actually doing all those cute art, learning, healthy things you've suggested.  Raise those hands, anyone . . . 

There are two kinds of people staying home:  (1) Whoo hoo it's vacation!  (2) I'm going to get everything done that I've put off my entire life.  The weighted curve is on #1.

As we listen to Illinois Gov. Pritzker's daily state of the virus updates, anyone but me hear a Presidential campaign ramping up?

I watched a series of UNO games the other night with my little grans and their folks.  Under normal circumstances it could have been a little slow - since self isolating myself, it was precious.  Thanks for FaceTiming me girls.

For those getting exercise outside - you know those zombie movies where there's no one on the streets - does it creep you out a bit?

A set of comparisons, from my era, and my summary:

• During WWII, everyone pulled together.  We were all in the same situation, all had people in the middle of it, all held tight to our loved ones and gave a break to the stranger.
• During the Vietnam war, we were severely divided as a nation.  
• After 911, everyone pulled together.
• During the Coronavirus, we are a nation sharply divided.

Although it's too simple a summary, when the nation is sharply divided, there was/are political and special interests manipulating the citizens.  I hope there's a special place in hell for those that pull those strings.

Speaking of pulling together, all I have to do is watch/read national/world news to realize my rural small town people are some of the best.  I know you have to search for it because the major media doesn't care, but there are so many wonderful things being done by good folks - often anonymously.  Even some the large philanthropic efforts are given little more than a back page mention.

If I sound like I'm down on the media - I am - sorta.  I'm not down on local reporters and other employees.  I have a child that graduated with a journalism degree, she was in the newspaper business and can tell horror stories of what's being done to those locals.  A good friend was on the radio and was at the whim of next best flavor of owners.  Don't tell me on-line media is killing papers, radio and television reporting - its big business owner greed.

If you like politics, isn't it interesting to see how each State's governor is handling the virus threat?  And the resulting outcome of their leadership?  There are history books being written about this period in time.  

Remember when every retiree in Illinois wanted to spend the winter in Florida?  That state can't even manage their beaches let alone protect its retiree population.   Hope our snowbirds are isolating back home.

On my list of things to do while self isolating:  Clean my old house basement.  Done!  Can hardly move today.  But done!  

And so it is - When I ponder alone, I prefer to be by myself. . .   

Mr. Blue

The Pantone color of the year 2020 is my favorite!  From light blue to dark blue - I love! love! love it!

And we always question what Pantone has to do with gardening:  Although not so much with actual plants, you will see garden accessories in blues of all shades.

Although plants of all kinds come in shades of red, yellow, purples and white there aren't a great number of blue flowering or leafed plants.  To date, there are no true blue daylilies.  Even though hybridizers are trying so very hard, up to now they all have a bit of purple in the shade.

Blue flowering plants need to be featured with contrasting colors.  Put a bunch of blue flowers against the dark green of evergreens and they may be very hard to distinguish.  It's a bit of a waste.

Combine with white, yellow, chartreuse and lime, red, pink and orange and they'll enhance each other.

Here's a few of my favorite garden blues:

Colorado Blue Spruce.  Although particular about where it grows, when it finds the right spot, it stunning.

Globe Thistle is an easy sweet plant that's not only blue beautiful, the bees and butterflies will cover the blooms.  

Blue Day Flower (Spiderwort) is a wild little sweetie with a head that looks almost like an animal face.  It will spread, is easy to pull and doesn't interfere with other plants.  I leave enough to enjoy the blooms.

Veronica and salvia come in shades of blue to lavender blue.  Some are perennial and others annual.  Some annuals self seed.  The spikes make a nice contrast to bushy plants.   
   

 "Hey Mister Blue" daylily was never blue in my garden although it's described in the AHS's register as "light Wedgwood blue with deep blue halo and green throat".  I didn't buy it for it being blue, I bought it as a tribute to a dear friend who died in Vietnam.

 















A sweet little spring bulb "Squill" spreads easily but isn't invasive.  This one is a striped version.  Originally from Turkey, it's been in the USA since the early 1800s.  It's lightly fragrant.  








And finally (although there are more blue colored species in nurseries) the well-known "Endless Summer" Hydrangea.  According to the soil, it may be pink or this lovely blue.  (Acidic for blue - alkaline for pink) Sometimes mine puts on pink, lavender and blue all on the same plant and sometimes on the same flower.  It has personality!

Jump into a little classic blue this summer - it's fun.