It's Lonely at the Top

My early efforts at leadership

I started my work career as a secretary and ended it working in a leadership roll directly under the C.E.O. of a company that employed thousands of people.  I start with this bit of history, not as a "look at me brag", but to give creds to my experience making decisions at a high level.  Even at my own experience level, it was nothing compared with leading an entire city, state or country.  Some things do apply:

It isn't faith that eliminates fear, its faith that helps us travel through fear and be all we can be.

Being all we can be may not be the same as being all others expect us to be.  Being all we can be, personally, is the only criteria we will be judged when our days are done.

During a crisis is not the time to undermine your leaders.  They are already set in place and they need to concentrate on the solutions. It is counterproductive to make their job more difficult.

If you are under the leader, respectfully voicing your opinions and differing or supporting ideas is your duty.  Once the leader makes a decision, it is also your duty to support it even if it's not what you wanted.  Being able and willing to do this will be an indication of your maturity and your ability to see the big picture.

I guarantee you will never know all the factors that have gone into a decision a leader makes.  

Because you will never know those behind the scene factors, publicly second guessing your leader, during times of crisis, only makes you look weak and clueless.



A good many employees/citizens fail to notice their actions may be similar to those of little children:  

• Is your anger similar to a tantrum?  
• Is your logic based only on your own wants?  
• Are your deductive powers limited?  
• Do you bicker and undermine as negotiating tool?
• Are you happy only when you win?
• Do you fail to consider something bigger than you?    

When a leader must deal with childish behavior, they loose time working on real problems that need mature answers.

Is there a time to be angry?  Yes, in private.  To publicly display anger at your leaders, in front of people who need assurance, often undermines confidence and leads to instability.

When I see someone undermining leadership during a crisis, I immediately know their aim is to personally enhance their own self and know they are not acting in the interest of everyone.

There are bad leaders.   There are also good leaders who make bad mistakes.  You have a choice:  Quit or try to help them do better. One is easy - one is not.  

There will be a time, after a crisis, to write your opinion or your own history book.  Wait until then to analyze what went wrong, what you did and how it should have been done. 

  This also applies to those who must quit because they feel strongly they can no longer work for a leader.  If you quit and then publicly air your grievances during a crisis, it only looks like sour grapes; your comments will not carry weight.  Save it for your book.

What if you feel a leader will destroy a business, a community or a country?  In a democracy, you can leave and start a campaign to offer differing opinions.  What you need to know is if you aren't careful you can destroy the very things you're fighting for.  If the way you proceed is viewed as subversive or harming the greater good, your ideas will be dismissed by the majority.

When you attack a leader's personal habits (speech, dress, physical characteristics, family, etc) your position becomes weak.  It tells those listening you have nothing relevant to substantiate your dislike.

When a leader asks you to stop what you're doing or saying, it means they've heard you and they now need to make decisions based on many things, not just your needs.  The military calls it "standing down"; relaxing out of your readiness position and let others take the lead.  Taking offense or taking it personal at being asked to stand down shows a lack of understanding for the bigger cause.

Leaders can no longer discuss everything in detail with their employees, friends, family or with the public.  It undermines and causes unrest.  I'm not advocating subterfuge, eliminating teamwork or feudalism.  I'm saying a leader is put in that roll to make decisions.  At some point, after considering all input, that leader must make that decision alone.  Then that leader must move forward with the next decision process.

Leaders and those who work for them need to develop a sense of humor.  It can defuse tense situations and can help with tolerance.  Humor at work can not be sarcastic.  Sarcastic humor makes enemies and builds division.  

Know when to just shut up.  It's a quality that's lost its importance since the dawn of social media.  It's a quality needed today in both leadership and in those under the leaders.

Leaders have a personal life that is as important to them as your's.  They have family, friends, hobbies, a home, heartache, happiness and personal beliefs.  It's disrespectful to treat them as if they "belong" to you.  

The very old saying "it's lonely at the top" is still true today.  You should care that it's still true.  As I moved towards more leadership rolls, my close associates became fewer.  It's a natural process but it is a lonely process.  Having the personal support of people gives a leader strength.  It doesn't necessarily mean you agree but it means you care.  And that care may not even mean care for the leader but you care for the overall good.

Pondering Alone - With Nobody Else

The old George Thorogood song with a few word changes:

"I ponder alone, yeah,

With nobody else

I ponder alone, yeah,

With nobody else

You know when I ponder alone,

I prefer to be by myself"

So many songs can be adopted to the Coronavirus situation - most funny and many irreverent.  And it sent me to pondering:

Are all the doctors who are making YouTube videos in an office setting and wearing their surgical caps having a bad hair day?

At what point is a politician so out of touch with his/her constituents that they really believe we want to hear political one-up-man-ship instead of just facts I need to know.  Holding me hostage thru your political commentary just so I know facts to keep me alive does not make me a devoted servant.  

Do you find it a bit comforting to know that TV and movie personalities have homes that are as messy and oddly decorated as yours?

My long held belief that some people are stupid has not waned.  

I was a rebel and wild child in my youth.  In spite of that, I knew if something could kill me or my loved ones, I didn't do it.  

One of my thank you prayers has always been "Thank you for letting me be born in the Midwest of the USA."  It continues.

You have to have been through tragedy to really understand and appreciate goodness. 

It would be so cool to be a stress non-eater!

I feel sorry for people living in places where they can't or won't pull together for the common good.

If this virus is the beginning of the Biblical Rapture simply because it's so horrible, then remember the 6 million Jews and 11 million other victims of Nazi persecution.  Could it be the beginning, possibly.  But not simply based on there's horrible death and suffering.

Are the people who are making fun, having jokes and cartoons not serious about the virus?  No, they're coping - just like you and I - in their own way.

Is the doctor who is wearing his white medical coat and making a PBS studio video asking for my donations to the station really not have a decent shirt or sport coat?

At the grocery, standing in the check out line, everyone unconsciously kept shuffling to keep their distance from others.  It was like watching those little magnets we had as kids where it would push the other one away whichever way it moved.  

Churches that aren't using social media sources are missing a mission opportunity.

It's hard for the "stars" who need/crave constant publicity to compete right now.

Congrats to sports writers who are actually having to research and write stories instead of simply listing the stats and salivating over the latest hero.  I seldom read the sports pages but they've had some interesting articles of late.    

Have you considered what it means that most newspapers are carrying stories written about situations/things other than area events?  It means they have laid off local newspaper journalists and photographers and are buying that stuff.  It's cheap fill and you're paying more to get less.

Pretty sobering that in a few months, Italy went from being famous for its huge contributions to the worlds of art, architecture, fashion, opera, literature, design, and film to a nation that is now having to consider anyone over 80 years old expendable.

For the equally clueless and relentless reporter questioning the very top military leaders about why all military bases haven't been totally locked down and all personnel locked in:  They explained balance of health cautions vs. defense needs at least ten times and she still pushed.  Considering the combat training in this group, she might consider herself lucky they remained polite.

The arm chair sports fans' critiques have nothing on the arm chair national and state handling of the crisis critiques.

If you haven't given a big tip or simply just given cash to restaurant carry out people, then you're missing an opportunity.  Don't miss opportunities.

I know the elderly are at risk for this virus.  I've also seen they are the ones who are laughing, keeping busy and making the best of it.  I've not heard one elderly person say they're bored.  Save these people, they may be the last tough generation. 

Being isolated and being slovenly are too close for comfort.

Raise your hand working mothers and dads if you think your stay at home alone kids are actually doing all those cute art, learning, healthy things you've suggested.  Raise those hands, anyone . . . 

There are two kinds of people staying home:  (1) Whoo hoo it's vacation!  (2) I'm going to get everything done that I've put off my entire life.  The weighted curve is on #1.

As we listen to Illinois Gov. Pritzker's daily state of the virus updates, anyone but me hear a Presidential campaign ramping up?

I watched a series of UNO games the other night with my little grans and their folks.  Under normal circumstances it could have been a little slow - since self isolating myself, it was precious.  Thanks for FaceTiming me girls.

For those getting exercise outside - you know those zombie movies where there's no one on the streets - does it creep you out a bit?

A set of comparisons, from my era, and my summary:

• During WWII, everyone pulled together.  We were all in the same situation, all had people in the middle of it, all held tight to our loved ones and gave a break to the stranger.
• During the Vietnam war, we were severely divided as a nation.  
• After 911, everyone pulled together.
• During the Coronavirus, we are a nation sharply divided.

Although it's too simple a summary, when the nation is sharply divided, there was/are political and special interests manipulating the citizens.  I hope there's a special place in hell for those that pull those strings.

Speaking of pulling together, all I have to do is watch/read national/world news to realize my rural small town people are some of the best.  I know you have to search for it because the major media doesn't care, but there are so many wonderful things being done by good folks - often anonymously.  Even some the large philanthropic efforts are given little more than a back page mention.

If I sound like I'm down on the media - I am - sorta.  I'm not down on local reporters and other employees.  I have a child that graduated with a journalism degree, she was in the newspaper business and can tell horror stories of what's being done to those locals.  A good friend was on the radio and was at the whim of next best flavor of owners.  Don't tell me on-line media is killing papers, radio and television reporting - its big business owner greed.

If you like politics, isn't it interesting to see how each State's governor is handling the virus threat?  And the resulting outcome of their leadership?  There are history books being written about this period in time.  

Remember when every retiree in Illinois wanted to spend the winter in Florida?  That state can't even manage their beaches let alone protect its retiree population.   Hope our snowbirds are isolating back home.

On my list of things to do while self isolating:  Clean my old house basement.  Done!  Can hardly move today.  But done!  

And so it is - When I ponder alone, I prefer to be by myself. . .   

Mr. Blue

The Pantone color of the year 2020 is my favorite!  From light blue to dark blue - I love! love! love it!

And we always question what Pantone has to do with gardening:  Although not so much with actual plants, you will see garden accessories in blues of all shades.

Although plants of all kinds come in shades of red, yellow, purples and white there aren't a great number of blue flowering or leafed plants.  To date, there are no true blue daylilies.  Even though hybridizers are trying so very hard, up to now they all have a bit of purple in the shade.

Blue flowering plants need to be featured with contrasting colors.  Put a bunch of blue flowers against the dark green of evergreens and they may be very hard to distinguish.  It's a bit of a waste.

Combine with white, yellow, chartreuse and lime, red, pink and orange and they'll enhance each other.

Here's a few of my favorite garden blues:

Colorado Blue Spruce.  Although particular about where it grows, when it finds the right spot, it stunning.

Globe Thistle is an easy sweet plant that's not only blue beautiful, the bees and butterflies will cover the blooms.  

Blue Day Flower (Spiderwort) is a wild little sweetie with a head that looks almost like an animal face.  It will spread, is easy to pull and doesn't interfere with other plants.  I leave enough to enjoy the blooms.

Veronica and salvia come in shades of blue to lavender blue.  Some are perennial and others annual.  Some annuals self seed.  The spikes make a nice contrast to bushy plants.   
   

 "Hey Mister Blue" daylily was never blue in my garden although it's described in the AHS's register as "light Wedgwood blue with deep blue halo and green throat".  I didn't buy it for it being blue, I bought it as a tribute to a dear friend who died in Vietnam.

 















A sweet little spring bulb "Squill" spreads easily but isn't invasive.  This one is a striped version.  Originally from Turkey, it's been in the USA since the early 1800s.  It's lightly fragrant.  








And finally (although there are more blue colored species in nurseries) the well-known "Endless Summer" Hydrangea.  According to the soil, it may be pink or this lovely blue.  (Acidic for blue - alkaline for pink) Sometimes mine puts on pink, lavender and blue all on the same plant and sometimes on the same flower.  It has personality!

Jump into a little classic blue this summer - it's fun.  

A Love Interest

A summer love interest:  Borage

What's to love - besides everything: 

• Borage (Borago officinalis) is also known as Starflower.
• Self seeding annual herb that can form colonies.
• Plant in full sun to partial shade (does best in full sun.)
• Tolerates very dry conditions after establishing.
• 20 to 40 inches high x 12 to 28 inches wide.
• Has a cottage garden informal look.
• The one-inch flowers come in white, pink and blue.  
• The blue is one of the really true blue flowers in the garden.
• The flowers and leaves are fragrant.
• Flowers from late spring until frost.
• Is a culinary and medicinal herb.

  

  A Burpee picture

• Valuable source of nectar and pollen for bees.
• Host plant for the Painted Lady Butterfly larva.
• Host plant for lacewings.  Lacewings feed on aphids, mealybugs, thrips, small caterpillars, mites, moth eggs and some scales.
• Is said to repel tomato worms.
• Because it attracts beneficial insects, it's a great companion plant for other plants in the garden.

This beautiful picture came from Burpee

What's to dislike:

Nothing!

So you know:

• It is native to Europe.
• The flowers hang down.
• Some people find the leaves irritate the skin but they are considered edible and taste like cucumbers.
• Flowers may be candied.
• It can colonize but easily pulls if it shows up in the wrong place.
• Most nurseries (Burpee for example) have seeds.

Borage Oil:

It is advertised as one of the richest natural sources of gamma-linolenic acid (GLA.)  Also has beneficial fats, fiber, proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals.  Said to have anti inflammatory properties and emollient properties for the skin.  (This is taken from an advertisement so do your homework.)  Do NOT buy it unless it says it's free of pyrrolizidine alkaloids (PA.)

Reminder:  Always do your research when using herbal remedies and talk with your doctor first if you're taking prescriptions meds. 

I have Borage planted among my daylilies.

Borage is one of my favorite garden plants and although I don't use it for food or medically, the bees sure do love it, too.  I'm willing share my love interest!

The Scent of the Purge

An internet picture of spices

We've all done it: 

• Bought a spice and then used only a little until five years later it's still there, a mere shadow of its former self.  
• Bought a package of cinnamon sticks or whole cloves in hopes of making a wonderful Christmas something and there they sit, dusty and alone.
• Had a beautiful spice rack filled with colorful spices and the light, heat and moisture from being in the kitchen has rendered them useless.

What to do?  What to do?

The non savory spices (we often think of them a dessert spices but they are used in many other dishes) are perfect for humidifying your home.  Fill a large heavy pan half way with water.  Add spices.  Turn on high until it comes to a soft boil then turn down to a very low simmer.  It's a great way to add moisture to your dry inside winter air, it uses up old spices and it smells wonderful.  Don't forget it's on the stove -or- don't leave unattended.  Duh.

I've tried putting spices in electric or candle scent pots and I've not been pleased with the resulting fragrance.  

If you like the fragrance of savory spices, you could always boil as above.  I tend to think it smells more like I'm opening an Italian restaurant but you may enjoy that, too.

I feel good by simply throwing other spices outside on the winter ground and let them biodegrade.  I wouldn't put them in the bird feeders - birds can be picky.  

It's reported that using strong fragranced bay leaves, cayenne pepper, chili pepper, black pepper, cinnamon, mint leaves, turmeric powder, cloves and garlic repels ants and mice.  

I'm including all forms of pepper and peppercorns in the purge process.  It not only can loose it's flavor/smell but can take on a bitter nasty taste.

Don't throw salt, in any form, on your lawns or gardens unless you want to kill the vegetation for a long time and the melting snow may take it unintentionally to a bed.  

Pure salt can be flushed down your toilets or down the drain as it tends to clean as it goes.  Seasoned salt can go stale and flavorless over time and is best thrown in the trash.  I've never had pure salt go bad.  I have bought the odd trendy salt from the odd location and found it had a flavor I didn't like, those can go down the drain.

If you like to cook with seasonings, purge your shelves of every spice over one year old (many suggest a few months old.)  Write the date on the container. Why ruin a good dish with stale, flavorless or off-flavor seasonings.  

If you buy good seasonings and they come in containers too big to ever use it all, ask around and share with friends.  We all buy too much unless we're in the restaurant business.  

And off the dry spice kick but kitchen purge related:  

If you've had your baking soda, baking powder or yeast packages over a year, flush those babies down the drain, too.  Soda takes on fragrance from other things (it's why it's suggested we put an open box in the frig and it's why it's in many kitty litters.)  Baking powder and yeast loose their properties and will cause your baked goods to not rise as beautifully.

And when all these things are actually purged out of your kitchen, may I suggest only buying the basic spices on your first shopping trip.  As you need others, then get them at that time.  Also, if you're really into flavor and cooking, buy a good quality.  Not necessarily expensive or gourmet but freshly stocked.   Health food stores usually carry smaller containers and more freshly acquired. Although there are many other web sites, Penzeys Spices are good.

And a really yummy alternative:

 

Then there's always the really garden/produce store fresh spice or flavoring that is another whole set of tastes.  I have froze some fresh herbs from my gardens in olive oil.

Frozen Oil & Herbs

Wash and dry herbs and veggies.  Pick from stems, remove seeds, chop if necessary. 

Assemble ice cube trays (plastic/rubber is the best).  

Put in enough herbs/veggies to be able to push down under the rim but not crush.  

Pour in a good quality olive oil to cover.  Set in freezer.

When solid, remove, put in lock-top sandwich bags and label.

And now friends:  Go forth and purge that spice drawer.

Here Kitty Kitty Kitty

This is "Maggy" then called "Buddy" after an informative vet visit.
He had a wonderful story all his own
and after many wonderful and storied years, has gone to cat heaven.

I'm a cat lover - there "I've said it!"  I know the pros - the cons - and still I would be the crazy cat lady if I didn't know the hazards.

I've had cats all my life.  When I was a kid we had them on the farm.  They were kept to the barns and porches as my Dad, the farmer, didn't believe in animals in the house.  Still, I spent many an afternoon playing zoo keeper, circus trainer, cat doll dress up and just plain loving my cats.  

As an adult, there's always been at least one house cat in my near past or future, if not in the house.  Right now, I have a sweet little house cat, Bitsey, (that likes ventures outside through the cat door in the summer.)  I don't let her out in the winter because it's way too cold and the eagles/hawks are way too hungry.  

This pretty guy "Boots" was an adventurer who had no fears.  After a few years, he disappeared
and I'm assuming his "no fear" attitude might have been is undoing although
I choose to imagine him simply living with another family of his choice.

Through the years, I've had cats dumped here, wander here or adopted here.  They've been varied in looks and personalities and I've pretty much loved them all.  

I know there are complaints about feral cats in town and with good reason.  Where I live in the country, the whole feral cat thing is a different situation.  A feral cat in the country has a very short life span due to coyotes, other predators and health risks.  Competition for food is pretty high in the country.  Protection from the elements is hard because other wild animals know those places, too.  Today, people tear down old barns and sheds thus eliminating shelter in a hole in the soft straw and hay for outdoor cats.  

This is "J", Boots' sister, who had the preservation instinct down to a science.
She lived almost 18 years as my indoor/outdoor cat and left for kitty heaven just last year.

Over the years, I've had a couple of returning big feral male cats make a stop at my house on their tour of the country side.  They aren't vicious but they are certainly wary enough to run when a human or dog is near.  Both seem to be pretty healthy in spite of obvious war wounds.

For years, a beautiful golden orange Big Guy would visit.  He was wary of me but it was with an attitude.  He was used to being dominate and that included humans.  One summer day as I was at the computer, I heard the cat door opening and turned just as Big Guy walked calmly into the kitchen and started eating cat food.  I have no idea how many times he'd performed this little trick but as I walked into the room, he turned and gave me "what do you want" look.  I politely asked him to leave (shoo shoo) and he did but not without a few back looks that let me know he was only leaving because HE wanted to not because I was insisting.  Big Guy stopped showing up a several years ago and I'm assuming Big Guy went to cat heaven hopefully by his own accord and not through an unfortunate event.    

This little boy "Bond - James Bond" loved being friends with our dog, Buddy" and they played
 and slept together for several years.  One day he zigged when he should have zagged and kitty heaven welcomed another sweet little guy.  

I've resisted the urge to feed strays because I would become the home to another cat, one that didn't particularly like people and one my own cats didn't particularly want as competition.  I was pretty sure most weren't vaccinated and probably had a case of fleas that would spread.  Another reason not to put out pet food is it attracts raccoons (dirty, hateful & damaging) and mice.    

Because none have ever looked like they've been starved, I suspected one of my neighbors fed them regularly or perhaps even took care of all their needs.  

"Bitsey" is my house kitty.  At 13 yrs. old, she is now queen.

Today, I was surprised to see the current beautiful charcoal gray Big Guy snacking at my bird feeder where I had thrown out some stale Christmas cookies.  He's well fed and today seemed healthy although a bit muddy.  I'm thinking he has to belong to someone.  He's more skittish than golden Big Guy although he likes to sun himself on my front porch.  My old cat (J) seemed to enjoy the company - my little house cat (Bitsey) not so much.  She considers anything/anyone new a threat; Children, wind, other cats, the howling of coyotes, the weather alert alarm - just about anything but me and dog Buddy sends her into hiding.

Gray "Big Guy" cat.

Sooooo - today gray Big Guy realized I was photographing him from the window and scooted towards the woods.  With these cold temperatures, he must be one tough guy to be wandering so far from home.  Hopefully, after some cookies, he'll catch a few mice and get back to whoever loves him enough to keep him fed and healthy.  And he'll have some leisurely time to clean the mud off his face.  Being the neighborhood Big Guy is a lot of responsibility.    

A Spot of Tea?

This isn't my picture but it's a cutie example.

As I was walking the isles of T .J. Maxx/Marshalls/Home Goods, I was seeing LOTS of teapots.  You know those pretty little painted pots every British sitcom has during every conversation whether it's a murder, romance or news show.

Has there been a revival of serving tea in the US - In pretty little pots?  In an era when hurry, easy and immediate are everything?  

I thought maybe it was a misadventure from some manufacturing firm but I checked the more upscale lines and they, too, had tea pots of every variety.

Whatever the reason, there's a great use for thrift store teapots or that collection you've pushed back into the corner kitchen cabinet.  

They make great birdhouses!  

The reason (besides being pretty) is they already have a door (the top), they're easy to clean (size), they have sufficient drainage (the spout) and they have an easy way to hang (the handle.)  Win win win and win! 

I've used teapots, coffee pots and water pitchers for years as bird houses.  Screwed to a tree or hung by the handle, they are sturdy and easy.  Here are a couple of mine:

An old metal coffee pot screwed to the wall.

Aluminum water pitcher screwed to the wall.

This may seem like a waste of good silver but I found (when I sent mine to auction) that no one wants silverplate anymore.  It sold for less than a birdhouse - I wish I'd kept it for just that.

   And all of these four are from Pinterest where you can see several hundred more ideas from simply hanging to fancy affairs.  

Side notes:  

• If you plan to drill a hole in the bottom so you can screw a ceramic pot to a surface, there's a good chance it will break the entire pot.  I noticed some were wired to boards and others appear to have been super glued.  
• Some (as shown in the silver coffee pot above) have the opening modified to entice certain birds.  Not all birds like a big entry to their house because it's easier access for predators.  
• I put some of my pots under the garage overhang to help shield them from heavy rain.
• Other examples show them used as bird feeders but I envision this being a messy labor intensive projectThis Pinterest example has a few more fun additions for those who have woodworking talent.  

Thrift store pots are often really cheap because they apparently haven't got the word "American loves tea pots".