Thursday, February 5, 2015

Not So Much About Gardening

A few observations that may stray off the garden path:

ü If your kids and grandkids don’t remember giving you that knickknack, you’re safe to donate it to the thrift shop.

ü To teenagers, grandpa will always be a geezer until they have car trouble.

ü John Marx, The Dispatch, is the best stand up comic that never hit the stage.

ü I’ve never met a contractor who understands the emotional tie a gardener has to their plants.

ü The old saying, “The older I get the more I realize my parents were right.” should be, “The older I get the more it doesn’t matter who was right, we move on – hopefully with dignity.”

ü When the dandelions take over your yard, pretend you’re cultivating them for healthy eating.

ü People who put down a young person for lack of a particular talent are telling more about themselves than that young person’s talents.

ü Vitamin D from sunshine helps make strong bones.  Another blessing from gardening.

ü If I could live my life over again, I wouldn’t.  It’s a one-act play and I’m shooting for a happy ending.

ü A person has to prove they are really a gardener if they have good-looking fingernails. 

ü If you’ve never had one health related problem as a result of some gardening effort, you just didn’t put your heart into it.

ü Immaturity is only cute if you’re under 3 years old.

ü There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that tops a shower and drink of cold water after working in the garden.

ü If you supervise people and hate going to work everyday; I guarantee your employees hate your going to work everyday, too.

ü I have a wave of insecurity if I find I’m walking in my garden without my camera.

ü I’m really thankful interior decorators haven’t brought back burnt orange, moss green and brownish gold flowered couches. 

ü I appreciate my parents’ tolerance when I went through my “hippy” stage.
ü Does anyone but me find the sound from a “water feature” distracting to the point irritation?

ü If you’ve never slow danced to a 1950’s song, you don’t know romance.

ü On a day when it was below zero, the lady in front of me at Wal-Mart had on pink Capri pants OVER long thermal underwear.  I was in a good mood the rest of the day.

ü We have a bit of a superiority complex when we live in areas of the country where you can die outside during bad weather.

ü No matter how much caulk is used on an old house, it leaks when the wind chill is zero crazy. 

ü On really cold winter days, if you don’t have soup you’re just not American.

ü Taking your personal first world problems too seriously makes one look uninformed at best and callously self centered at worst.

ü There’s something so Midwest rural when an area weekly newspaper lists the school's lunch menu under the feature “Area Dining and Dancing”. 

ü Humor should be everyone’s cup of tea.

ü I will eat the stalest left over Christmas cookie after midnight.

ü Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend but a good pair of pruners ranks right up there.

ü Does the many graphic murders on TV dramas every night validate Americans are only entertained by inhuman cruelty against each other?

ü Scientists may unequivocally prove sugar kills brain cells but I may never be able to give up candy and – well, whatever it was I was going to say. . .

Note:  Pictures are just random shots with no particular meaning to the story. 

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